"For love and not for lies."

You drive me crazy. C R A Z Y.

C.S. Lewis class and a book a week. So far it's been The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, The Last Battle, and I am nearly through with Surprised by Joy (in my opinion the best so far). Next is The Screwtape Letters, and The Great Divorce for an extra project. My head may explode due to word overload...it rhymed.

Tonight is my first In the Face of War show of the WHOLE school year. I'm pretty excited, and can't really believe I have not been to one since I have been back. I sat and ate with Janie and Eric on Friday. Eric said his favorite city in California was "Alien Workshop", it was great.

I should start reading now.

I went throught my music library and tried to piece together London Calling from the Vanilla Tapes. I think I got most of it, except a few songs are missing. I might listen to it tomorrow as I run, but I am not sure yet. Tonight is the debut of the Cobrasnake tshirt I bought. So far I have gotten a good response from those who have seen it.

Eating sounds good right now. So does painting. I think, though, that the pieces I am working on need to stew a bit. Stew they may.

Ps. 132:4-5 NASB

"I will not give sleep to my eyes
Or slumber to my eyelids,
Until I find a place for the Lord.
A dwelling place for the Mighty One of Jacob."

I'm tired of being stubborn and bullheaded with everything. There is such simplicity in life when you realize you can't control it. Not that you are becoming someone who is lazy. But the moment you let things happen, you remember why you love life so much. What good can come of it.

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10

K.O.

You're not crazy.

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10

K.O.

There are some things in this world I will never understand.

Chick, you could write a book.

Peter (Solitary):

"Watch your tongue." urged Peter as he passed through the narrow isles of the shop. Rose had obviously been muttering to herself the sweet nothings that hand blade saws love to hear. They were nothing particularly vulgar, but Peter, the shops owner tried to curb the habit of inanimate tool lust.

To Rose, however, this was no non moving non living object. This saw was a living breathing part of her life. Peter could tell by the way she looked at the shiny metal chrome handle. Didn't that saw once have a blade? The fact is, it did. Peter knew Rose had it. He let it slide.

"You know, if you really like the saw all that much, you can have it." Peter announced. He did this in a non-boastful way. He could cover the cost. Rose was unbelievably lovable. And Peter was wise to this. He didn't see exactly what James saw, but he could tell she could win her prize in a beauty contest. It wasn't so much her looks, Peter thought. It was her.

It was her.

Rose was stunned. Peter, the solitary man of the hardware shop suggested she should maybe just take it. In this situation, she would always purchase something small in order to draw attention from her stealing. Everyone noticed though. If it was mercy she wanted, it was mercy she got. And mercy she will continue to get.

Tack nails, gum, shoe polish were the accomplishes to her crimes. But no one who knew she did it thought it was a crime. It was her working her way out, with her God.

Peter, (Solitary) walked her up to the register in the corner of the room. He then placed the saw handle between too sheets of heavy packing paper. With red wrapping twine he tied the folded edges of the package. Solitary man was pretty old world in this sense. He treated every purchase like it was worth it's weight. He sent them off like first day of school children. With a mug of chicken broth.

With the package wrapped up, Rose remembered the blade in her inside coat pocket. She kept a light cloth in the pocket to prevent wear into the coat's lining. It was a nice coat. James noticed why she liked it. He kept it to himself. James liked to keep his thoughts hanging in his head like medallions. Like the collection Rose had. In that, he knew they were very similar.

With Solitary smiling brightly at Rose and the bound in red twine package, Rose swung out the door. She got something for free this time. The saw was given to her.

I saw Munich tonight with my friend Sam. I always say movies like that will change my life.

Worst Scrabble word to get while playing with mom: A-N-A-L. Like "anal cavity". I think it was something like 8 points though. I won a game and she won a game. I didn't want to play best out of 5, so I stopped after 2 games.

Rose:

Rose liked to steal things. She never really considered it stealing because she thought once she got a collection of things, someone would but them in a museum. Eventually, those people would thank her. She never stole big things. She never took things which were large in monetary value. She never walked off with a television, or a computer or car.

Little by little Rose collected the small things. Some would say it's the little, it's the small things that matter most. She used to smoke, but she quit. She used to be a pretty girl and she used to have fun. She doesn't know she's still a pretty girl.

Rose looks for things to steal. She doesn't happen upon them, she seeks them out. But it's her desire to be passionate. Inside her exists a large burden to the world. One day, she will make her mark on someone or a group. They will be forever entranced by her collection of objects. Playing cards, lawn ornaments, Catholic icons, shoe laces, silver dollars, lengths of rope, keys to locks, and the locks themselves. They would all combine into a divine installation one day. She knows people are endeared by her now, but she's always working for something.

This is what makes this kind of stealing ok.

On a 14' by 14' square of robust white painted peg board she hangs her objects. She has genuine deep down love for all of them, and sometimes she takes them down. One by one she whispers why. If the one neon red shoe lace could actually know how she felt. It would be the most special shoe lace in the world. If only she could express herself in the way the virgin mary candle would understand. If God knew it to, she surely would be shown mercy.

If mercy is what she wants, than God will give it to her.

She was in a shop one day when she saw James. She seemed to instantly recognize James' love for his tools that he delivered. She noticed the care he put into his job and he saw the shine of the tools. The tattered red cloth hanging from his waste was used to wipe off the grime of his tools, and to make them presentable.

"Morning."

She looked up and he noticed her. He noticed her. She wasn't seeking approval from him. He wasn't God. He noticed her, without her clamoring for attention which people maybe thought she did. But James, the big lug, the unassuming clod, saw something. God knew what exactly James saw, but no one else did.

Not even Rose.

The door clanged shut. She walked over to where James had been. She stepped in his spots. She examined the counter where the tools sat. "Where are those tools?" she thought. Slinking up and down the 7' tall isles she saw the extension cords, she saw the extra fuses, and she saw the extra blades for the boxcutters. Anything in this humble shop could be used to her advantage.

When she reached the wall where James' deliveries hung, she examined them. She saw the hammer, the saw, the crowbar and the nails. Reaching towards the saw, she unattached the blade. This was a good one. Two things in one. A blade and a saw handle. They could hang as two separate pieces.

The worst thing about the end of the year is the contiual revival of news stories that don't matter. Now don't lable me as some kind of stone hearted ogre, but there is a limit to how many times I can hear the story about the Brad and Jen break up without becoming legally insane. I am not talking stories about hurricanes and tsunamis, but the media just seems to have a knack of shoving this useless information down our throats. Being back on break helps me realize how NOT having a TV in my room or house is a blessing. I feel like I read it enough on internet news pages let alone from the magazines, TV shows, and newspapers.

Ok, I am going to eat lunch.