Now I can see that everything meant nothing. Your actions display your true confusion, and I'm not buying in anymore. I can't take another promise broken through "naivete". You say you want stability and faith, but all too often you seem blinded by the desires of your heart.

And I know it's hard to decipher which are good and which are bad desires, because both good and bad desire flow from the same functioning muscle.

The muscle which keeps you alive.

Right now, Matthew seems so right.

I'm done and few things matter anymore.

I may always have salvation, and I have a choice to not choose damnation. But depression has no choice. It is inflicted. And you seem to impose a life sentence sometimes.