If I could own the eternal optimism of Foxtrot...I'd be set for life.

"Why the grouchy face?"

"Mom says I have to read all the Valentines I got."

"You don't normally read them?

"Heck no I don't want to expose myself to a bunch of girly flirtation! I mean look at some of these...'Dear Jason, Happy Valentines day you nerdy twit.'"

"Calling you a nerdy twit is flirting?

"It's an anagram of trendy wit."