wrangled and wrinkled.

Monday, December 10, 2007

I guess I've been busy.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

I'm going to a jazz concert tonight. Alone. Like a creepy old man. But at least the girl asked me if I wanted a student ticket. This means I still have street cred.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

The smell of fire places and bonfires burning. It makes me so sappy. I wish I had someone to be sappy with.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

I think tonight I made a realization just how much I need/want/enjoy "decompression" time.

I also realized I would love to find someone who loves that I need/want/enjoy "decompression" time.

It's funny how closely my life aligns to a diver's depth. I feel like I work in a constant barrage of social interaction at work. And when I come home I love to just regenerate with a little bit of quiet before I feel just about ready to go out, or go back to work (in the studio). And although working in the studio is very enjoyable I still kind of need decompression before I do it. To clear my head. Sometimes it's so bad I need like 2 days of decompression before I work in the studio or go out in a large group.

If anything the loss of a relationship strengthens my resolve to find someone who fits me well. Because no one else can really work, other than a good fit. With others I just leave them worn out or confused. Or in need of their own decompression.

I also know I started 2 sentences with the word and. Sorry.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Jailed

Our first kiss was in jail
Our first kiss was in the holding cell, it was a stiff backed bench sleepless night secret

We held hands in the cop car
We held hands in the cold clamped secure backseat, it was a cordoned off secret

It was a police line catastrophe -- hit and run hold up love

We last kissed in front of the judge
We last kissed in view of the jury, and it wasn't fanciful and ha-ppy

We were convicted of first class forgery
We were convicted of second class perjury

It was a public nuisance -- domestic disturbance embezzled love

First base, Second base, Third base.
And now love is the swinging gallowed dead corpse creepy love.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Birdcalls II (Again)

Tonight I was driving and I looked up ina secon' story window.
I saw a silhouette of a woman
An she was changing...
She was changing her mind.

She weren't changin' er clothes she was changin' her mind.
Well you know ow it goes
You know ow it's been
When she comes around it's back to the pastures again.

And it's me back to my pastor's again.
Seein' what I can to do just to get Jesus, get (h)'im my sins tend.
Seein' what I can do to get my heart to mend.

Been there before and written again...
Bird calls, and bird calls and again and again.
CAT CALLS, CAT CALLS CAT CALLS BEGIN!

But if I don change myself:
She'll be there again.
Standin' in the window changin' er mind again.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

It makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Long time, no post.

Kind of an update on what is going on so the one to maybe two people can read it. Maybe get some hope from the fact that maybe their life is better than mine. Or they can just pretend. Anyway here is the low down.

Living situation: Upon graduating last summer I moved into a house with a few friends who were and are also still graduates. It was on Landess St. 3812 to be exact. After each one went their separate ways I moved into a new one bedroom apt. on Harmon St. 4523 and 1/2 apt 2. I lived there, slept on a couch for a year. Had some people over, advanced relationships with girls and friends and this August I moved out. I moved across 38th St. in the direction of due north to 3628 Harmon St. I live here with Zack and Frank whom I have known for going on 4 years and Pat whom I just met this summer. We have a dog, and a gas stove and a fire pit. Pretty cool stuff.

Working situation: Since graduation I have been working on the Paint Crew for the school. Repairing dents, scratches and painting whole walls all through out campus and dorms and bathrooms what have you. I may achieve full time status by the end of the month. Not that exciting but it gets me money for the next and the most important part of this update.

Art situation: Living in houses and not having much space to work on painting and drawing has been difficult. I went from a back kitty litter smelling studio (Landess St.) where I completed 3 or so paintings and about 30 drawings...to a bed room with bad lighting and sometimes a dog cage. This is where I competed a 4th painting while also a 5th and partially a 6th. And about 30 drawings. When late August came around I moved into a studio space on 29th and Home St. In an abandoned church I have completed a painting and about 6 little card drawings and a regular drawing. For $50 bucks a month I am around 3 other artists and am feeling way more productive. Pretty good digs, although we discovered a leaky roof dampness creating a musty smell and a wet carpet the other day. I am also currently working on getting a website going to show case most of the work I have created since last summer and future gallery shows etc.

Hope this is thorough enough for all you strangers.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

My Indiana

Here there are barns full of junk.
Ever notice how the rain starts and they rot from the ground up?

Crooked doors and the windows show a shady clutter.
Full from brim to brawn with saws that've sawn.

Mini whispers about this and that...with the corn that was long ago replaced for progression.
Be it cheaper or be it prosper, they'll never know...any better.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

I forgot how looking for "artist" jobs on craigslist depressed me.

Monday, April 16, 2007

After I am surrounded by love, I feel so attacked.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Monday, March 19, 2007

I'm still driving on Will's gas.
And I'm -- still -- driving -- on -- Will's -- gas.
Thanks, Will. For the gas.

You know that song you liked?
The one you liked so much?
For me -- it's a shredded curtain blown by wind.

It is held together now...with:
1.Weak strands woven through ventricles.
2. (Inaudible medical mumblings)
For -- me it was like little pins...

It's held together now, like a glued rock.
It's safely tied!...In a knotted sock.
It's cemented now in Plaster of Paris.
It's a frozen fossil now, Allosaurus fragilis...

Planted architecture, and locked beer cases.
Familiar places - non familiar faces.
This started my hoarsest week.
My chest is solid.

I miss you and I don't even know you.
And I'm so ready to love

Friday, March 16, 2007

Thanks for taking all my advice and using it for your next conquer. And using up all the grace I had inside of me. I make no excuses, and I am not cool. I don't have a hat to match a jacket. I felt like I was in highschool again.

I'm not cool, but I like who I am.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

It's not strength I seek, it's the power of the meek.

It will take a miracle, or it will take a million years...
for me to come around again.
I'll always be wrong and weak.

Love me and to the grass I go.
Cattle, and pit bulls.
Bird calls, cat calls.
Bird calls, cat calls.
Cat calls!

It's not you in the foreground, it's you...
In the back!

"Lord help me change."
"Lord I'll need what I prayed for yesterday today too."

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I sold a piece at the 1920 Gallery show. It was an 8'' by 11'' drawing called Twinkie Temptation. Pretty encouraging. I have yet to find out who purchased it. If it isn't someone I know it will be my first sale to someone who has no relation/friendship with me. If it is someone I know, it will still be ok, because I love the fact that people respect the work I pour myself into. The compliment of a purchase is a golden feeling of validation that I haven't felt very much growing up doing art.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

I'm much to nostagic for my friends most of the time, so there are always things I want to tell them, but feel that if I did it would be a little too mushy. Either that or my thought comes out a garbled mess of speech not wholly conveying what I had planned to say. So I am going to make a mini list.

The friend who I look forward to working with.
The couples who have provided for me.
The girl who is extremely encouraging. (She has no idea)
Witty and rediculously girl magnet friends.
Those who really care.
The one who makes me laugh the hardest.

If you think one of these is you, it probably is.

Friday, February 16, 2007

I found out a few days ago that the stray cat which annoys (the one I have an on going feud with) my neighbors and I is actually "owned" by the lady a few houses away. Why doesn't she keep it inside on -8 degree days? I don't know. But she evidently cracks her garage in the summer.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Last night I dreamt I had a new 6.0, Canon megapixel camera. Then I woke up to find I had none. What a bummer. When I was little like 7 or 8 I had a similar dream about a skateboard. The next morning, I ran out to the garage to go use my skateboard to find I did not have one. Again, what a bummer.

I also had a dream about a ghost cat that I thought I killed, but when I threw things at it, they went right through it. So I could not kill it. When I went down to my car to go to work, that same stupid black stray cat was waiting for me. I think for revenge.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

So the show went well, except for the last hour or so which was spent getting evaluated by my friends who think they see male reproductive organs in my paintings. Everyone from far away came, including Charissa, Samo, and Katrina. I was pleased with that. I handed out a lot of hand made business cards so that was good. Still as nervous as always.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Sometimes I really think I will never escape myself.

Sometimes I am ok with this, other times I'm not.

At least I know I am loved.

Friday, February 02, 2007

I have some drawing and paintings in a art show coming up.

Monday, Feb. 5th 2007
1920 Gallery
Indiana Wesleyan University S.C.
from 4 to 10pm






Change me, Change me, Change me.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Just when I think I can't get any lower, I do.

Things affect me way too much. I feel like I can't change this.

I'm a workaholic and I care more than enough for dime jobs that don't even matter.

I cannot be myself under stress. I need to grow up.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

First snow of the season and of 2007 in Marion, Indiana is to be recorded for January 15th through 16th.

Friday, January 05, 2007

Well I don't want just a girl to fool around with
Well I don't want just a girl to ball alright
What I want is a girl that I care about
Or I want nothing at all.
Alright

Well I won't pretend I like a girl if I really don't
And act like she's great when she makes me feel appalled
All I want is a girl that I care about
Or I want nothing at all.

Well I don't want some cocaine sniffing triumph in the bar
Well I don't want a triumph in the car
I don't want to make a rich girl crawl
What I want is a girl that I care about
Or I want no one at all
Alright, listen to this now.

Picture this:
I'm walking with my girlfriend
28 misguided souls combined say, "We're moving in"
There's a certain kind of girl that you care about so much
You say, "I don't care what you guys do to me, but her, DON'T TOUCH!"

'Cause I don't want just a girl to fool around with
I don't want just a girl to ball
What I want is a girl that I care about
Or I want nothing at all
Oh alright

Well I don't want a girl to fool around with no
I don't want just a girl to ball no
What I want is a girl that I care about
Or I want nothing at all.

Alright gentlemen.