I wish I could be a nilhilist.

There are certain things in life I want to achieve and work to. But there are also things I can let grow on their own I am fine with. It's those 2 or 3 integral parts which I really long for. I do, sometimes get in the way of my own plans. Strike that, I always.

I want to be content to live inside God's plan. I don't want to continually make my own and fail miserably.