One of the greatest ironies in my life has been this relationship I have had with the opposite sex. When I was in Elementary, Jr. High and Highschool all I wanted was a girlfriend my own age and someone from my class who liked me. I had some momentary success along the way, most of which was squandered by my own self worth.

When I was a camp counselor the other female counselors would always tell me about all these girls who liked me. The major problem being was that they were all ten years old. The ironic thing is that at that age and the subsequent years after I would have killed to have a girlfriend.

Since I am not dating anyone right now, it has been my co-workers duty (self deemed of course) to find me a girlfriend. Most of their suggestions of possible suitors have been around their age. Most of them are 18 to 20. A few of them are 18. Now, I know it's legal, but it still seems creepily young for me. It's like my mom suggesting to me that I should ask out a 26 year old woman. Do you think that girl is going to want to go out with someone who is 3 years younger than them?

I don't really think so. And besides, I am too dirty. Look at this disgusting rat-beard.

Today I was listening to a Liz Phair song (Does this make me a lesbian?) called Rock Me. And I had to laugh at the first line. I think it fits me pretty well.

"Oh baby, you're so young. What's give and take 9 years, anyway?"

Those of you who know this song, or what it's about, don't read too much into me using the quote. Just isolate the first line and ignore the rest of the lyrics, thank you.