Letter to C

It is the holiday after the day you left. I'm still recovering from what I first thought was an allergy attack, but on second thought is probably a cold. Getting a cold in the middle of a May heat wave is pure torture. I think the last time that had happened to me was July 2007. To top it all off, it was my birthday weekend, I was in Ohio, with my girlfriend. I made her miserable. I didn't do it on purpose, but my throat was so sore and swollen I could barely eat solid foods. Medicine wasn't helping and I was in denial. Kind of like this weekend. Another time that I had this exact same thing happen to me was Jason and Kristi's wedding. I drove 3 and a half hours by myself all the way down to Dayton, Ohio. I arrived and all my friends where in the wedding so I was by myself in my pew and at the reception at my table. It was a pretty lonely wedding experience and I was sick just like in July 2007 and now May 2010.

This wedding was entirely different. I was going to be driving down by myself, but I would have company on the way back and all the way to Michigan. I had made many plans before hand. Then you appeared. You found a way to be able to come to the wedding and you needed a ride. It was a great idea, because it was probably the most fun I have ever had on a road trip. It wasn't the fact that I wasn't lonely, either. You were/are more than that. It's most likely because you remind me of my sister in a good way. It's also because you have been so steadily similar since I have known you. You're always the same great person through it all and I admire that greatly.

So today, the holiday after I spent doing nothing. I don't have any family in close proximity so usually Memorial day is spent alone. I had one full day to reflect on the 2 days we spent in Kentucky with our friends. When I finally shook off the cluster cuss that are my symptoms I went out to get some lunch. When I got in the car I thought I smelled your perfume. I think I did, for a second! But the familiar aroma of basement incense burning over took the subtlety of what lingered from you. It was like a quick flash back to a distant memory, although it was only hours since we were on the road together.

It started raining a short time after that, so since I was doing nothing I thought I would go for a drive as kind of a pre-wash to get all the bugs off of my car. It may rain all week, so I am not sure I will get to washing it before I leave for Ohio. So many things stick out to me from this weekend. And after the 4th or so Eddie Harris track I listened to I came up with the rest of this.

The ease of conversation, the ease of...well everything. I've always felt that ease around you since we were 19 or 20. In fact I have thought that to be a strong suit for you. Your feet could not touch the hotel room carpet, you found us packing tips, you laughed when I said I really loved our hotel, I hope you know that I love going out of my way for you and I have loved that since we met.

As we talked in the car and as subject matter flowed and flowed I was consumed by only good thoughts about you. I didn't want to just shower you with them. I thought you might think that would have been over the top or patronizing. Or maybe I should have just said them. I believed that our history as being "just" friends would have been compromised if I had just poured my heart out to you. I'm not even going to say them all here. Save for one: Anyone, male, female, beast, extraterrestrial, robot, cyborg, inanimate object, plant or otherwise will have won the sweepstakes if they win you.